A line of kisses down my front,
The stitching from my head to heart,
Where you live amongst the scarlet,
As if I knew you from the start.
Your skin’s the shade of fresh milk,
The top – the froth beneath the lid,
Spoiled, with bruises like,
The fruit the farm hands hid.
If your neck is peach your hair is lemons,
Squeezed for the finest lemonade,
Tart – not bitter – the colour of summer,
For dizzy dreams beneath the shade.
I lay beside the fallen trunk,
Delirious from pollen and drunk on wine,
I’m in heaven when I’m here with you,
Wishing for a stretching, endless time.
But your eyes flutter open, widen still,
Push willow leaves behind your ear,
I’m sorry, I really should get going
Into the evening light you disappear.
Rest easy my darling
Let the earth part ways for you
Like the Red Sea or Galilee
And the storm you’re working through.
Don’t look to angry rain clouds
I’ll be your shelter if you ask
The sturdy trunk of an oak tree
From a time that’s come to pass.
Let my arms hold you like branches
Like the boughs of blossom bare
And lush green leaves and berries please
The smell of Autumn there.
I’ll stay with you through rainfall
And every storm of spring
I’ll stay through scorch and desert heat
Hardship, years, everything.
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel
So watch your step and mind the glass
I’ll hold your hand along the way
These times will come to pass.
We will one day reach an opening
And sun will simmer on your skin
We’ll sob into each others arms
We made it oh we made it
[I wrote this as a song, but you can read it as a poem too if you’d like]
Maybe a daffodil will grow from the cracks of my skin
Blooming just adjacent to my lips
I hope the buds stay open longer than my eyes
I hope that moss will cover my closed lids.
Bury me between two sturdy tree trunks
A willow or an oak with bluebells there
Crawling up the bark to reach the heavens
In an intimate, a longing kind of prayer
Gardeners will guard my grave like angels
I’ll take dirt stained jackets over wings any day
The clean, bright world above has always scared me
But I know I have to go I cannot stay.
There are things I cannot tell you so let the questions die with me
Don’t wonder why I’m going all too much
I’ve told the answers only to the September wind
Don’t listen to its whistles, feel its touch
Plant roses round my gravestone til you can’t see it anymore
I want to commemorate the living more than me
No one’s ever happy thinking about dead girls
So please hide it – I don’t want the world to see
I want their eyes on nature and on beauty
On the curve of crimson petals and daisy-grass
I may be gone but keep my inch of the world pretty
And through seasons and through years I will last.
bury me beneath the asphalt
tear back tarmac, take me there
let the world happen above me
as it always has.
You are still beside me
I am sat and you are laid
We are both so silent
But you in different ways.
Your sallow skin is parchment pale
Your once gentle hands are cold
Your body’s filled with tragedy
You were eighteen years old.
I know we took no vows out loud
But it feels so wrong to part
I crave a happy middle
Like I craved a happy start.
What if I just lay here?
Shut my eyes and count to ten
Fade into the nothing
Happy, when I meet you there.
The dove sits on the bit of roof
That I see through the glass
It oversees a land of green
Of flora and of grass
Inquisitive, the grey dove looks
Gazing back at me
He stands his ground
And with no sound
He says please let me be
So I look with a still gaze
Arms firmly by my side
He glances back to moss and bark
With a sense of peace of mind
But then like dawn the silence breaks
Next door’s dog barks sharp and clear
The dove sets off to lands afar
He’s gone, the overseer.
I’m sorry, you say, eyes avoiding mine
I search for words, none in my mind
I gasp and choke, but none I find.
For between those empty syllables
You proved yourself a criminal
Pushing your hand through blood and bone
Finding a place you once called home
Scarlet spurting from my chest
I spit crimson, I spit red
I regret every word I said
The sky splits open, sunlight breaking
This is a mistake you’re making
And with a sigh and shake of head
You leave with every word unsaid