I Don’t Think Cupid Met Us

I wish that you would hold me,
As dusk brings the end of day,
And all my aching troubles,
Would get up and fade away.

Like shadows they would leave me,
Cast long in evening air,
But then you switch the light on,
And the shadows go elsewhere.

Darling, reach inside me,
There’s a storm behind my eyes,
I’m trapped in life and body,
I’ve grown crooked, to despise.

Take the fire out, leave me empty,
And kiss the stars goodnight,
I will blur the lines of emptiness,
Or calm behind the eyes.

If you held me I’d die happy,
I could pass soundly in my sleep,
I just need to think that if I did,
Over me you’d weep.

And I’d look down from three feet up,
And smile softly too,
That I didn’t waste twenty years,
But when you leave I know I do.

Heidi

[Wow I managed to write a song that wasn’t about a subject matter entirely horrendous. Unrequited love is more conventional, at least]

There are words between my lips
Words that I dare not say
I think of love and years
Of recalling yesterday.

I may be foolish but not stupid
Yes I fell in love with a ghost
I’ll try and purge you from my memory
Yes I’ll do my utmost.

Maybe that’s what sets me apart
From all the other guys
Who slept with you one winter day
And fell in love with your eyes.

They didn’t look away quick enough
They fell into a trance
And thought Heidi’s really lovely
I’m sure she’ll give me a chance.

No, me I know your power
I was out the door that night
I thought about you as I crossed the road
At the green traffic lights

You make my mind so silly
And you make my heart cry loud
But I know that it is fruitless
I’m just another in a crowd.

There are realms of guys who love you
In every town and every place
That you’ve ever graced your presence
In silken skirts, lipstick and lace

I’m really not that special
I’m mediocrity at best
Unexceptional to you
Yes I’ll fade into the rest.

Some days I think about you
If you’re cov’ring something up
That’s why you pick up people put them down
Like we put down coffee cups

Is there a hole inside your ribcage?
Where a broken heart does beat?
And a voice in your head that tells you
To throw yourself a thousand feet

I may not be as pretty
Or have the same way to cope
But Heidi please just listen
Just know you’re not alone

You deserve a nicer world
And you deserve a kinder mind
An inside voice as lovely
As the one you use outside.

I don’t expect one thing from you
Not a smile not a kiss
Oh I just want you better
You’d be terrible to miss.

I Spit Crimson

I’m sorry, you say, eyes avoiding mine
I search for words, none in my mind
I gasp and choke, but none I find.
For between those empty syllables
You proved yourself a criminal
Pushing your hand through blood and bone
Finding a place you once called home
Scarlet spurting from my chest
I spit crimson, I spit red
I regret every word I said
The sky splits open, sunlight breaking
This is a mistake you’re making
And with a sigh and shake of head
You leave with every word unsaid

Missing Keys

The shadows are long this evening,
Longer than the space between breaths,
Sat beside you I may be,
But dying a lonely death.

Cursing the air between us,
My body is crying out for you,
Hopeful and hopeless and aching,
But I doubt that you are too.

We are bursting with history,
But our memories are gathering dust,
Fraying at the edges,
I must move on I must.

You were the key to the cage of my heart,
You meant more than I let on,
It hurts more, knowing what I had,
To accept that now it’s gone.

Yes, maybe I’m the villain,
In this broken state of things,
Maybe I deserve it,
The pain that this all brings.

I never told you what you meant,
But I think that now I see,
I curse my past and present self,
You deserved so much more than me.

Worlds have changed between us,
Upon your hand a ring,
You were the fairest maiden,
And I the bastard King.

There’s an empty space inside me now,
You were my missing puzzle piece,
I get into bed like my covers a coffin,
And still, I lay, deceased.